Self esteem..

Well hey! Just finish watching Burlesque. I thought it was boring and kinda slow at first, but it blows my freakin' mind!..well sort of..oh c'mon..Cher and Christina Aguilera? Who'll get bored by them? Plus..the guy is cute! I can't remember his name but he played the vampire who tried to kill Bella at the end but ended up being killed in Twilite New Moon. He's HOT! In case ur wondering what does Burlesque means, this is the definition which i think suit it best:

• a theatrical entertainment of broad and earthy humor; consists of comic skits and short turns (and sometimes striptease)

(Source: wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn )

In the middle of the movie, strangely i thought about self-esteem..mine specifically. U see i used to be in a dance team. I danced with Labuan Matriculation College dance team up to national. We represent both Sabah and Sarawak. I remembered when i went for the audition, i saw a lot of people trying out and thinking i really don't stand any chance at all, considering I wasn't a real dancer back in my school. What i mean by not a real dancer was i'm not in the dance club, i just dance when they need extra dancers. But I still tried..i remembered thinking, WTH..not like i'm gonna lose anything. They asked us to dance Joget Lambak and I was like..What is that dance like? I dun even know the moves! Thankfully, there was someone showing us how..out of nowhere, I made it to the 2nd round. Then, it got tougher because they asked us to do Zapin. Zapin btw, for me was the hardest of all..I just showed them what i got *a little of that i tell u huu*  Suprisingly..they chose me. Well, that really boosted up my confident level. Really..BIGTIME! Oh ya..we won Gold that year. So proud!

Year later, I went to UNIMAS..and join BAYU short for Badan Budaya Unimas (the uni's performing arts club). Again, they did made selections for dancers, and i made it. At that time, i really have big dreams bout dancing with the dance team because i heard soooo many awesome and great things bout them! Up till one day..the breaking point where my dreams were shattered and fall off the floor. SNAP!just like that! Someone said I dance too..mmmm how do people call it..if in acting it's over-acting..in dancing 'over-dancing'? and worst that particular person said it behind my back..i overheard. It just torn me..then i quit the team. My confidence in dancing was lowered down..tonite i realised, was i over-reacting to that? 

Then i remembered, it's just my nature. I'm always too concern about what people think of me, how they judge me, etc2..I'm the kind of person who will easily felt let down by anyone. For example, when someone tells me there's something wrong with my outfit, i'll stop wearing them, maybe not on d spot changing them, but after i get out of them later that day. so when someone said i can't dance, i quit. I know i'm not very talented at anything, but i try to do it all..i tried acting, singing (not really..just in k-box)...blogging (though i'm not good at writting), painting, crafting... i'm more oriented to the art side rather than sports and outdoors activities, maybe someday i'll try them..and also Cooking! I love to cook, but not really good at that too *sigh* I have to work hard to earn them since i don't have the natural talent..and that is also why (maybe) i'm easily hurt and simply gave up if people tells me i can't do it. I know this is not a good attitude..and I'm trying to improve myself with times..I did dance, again..for a Ngajat competition. I did not won, but at least i got a gift certificate worth RM50, a box of Coco crunch and best, a Certificate from New Sarawak Tribune! Maybe i'll dance again..join a team..just wait n see what the future brings. 

Now..my self-esteem is like a wheel. Sometimes it goes up and sometimes it goes down. When someone told me that I'm pretty, well, I'm thankful because it totally boost my confident level (i'm not that pretty btw, u can see it from my photo up there) Compliments are just good at times u know..urgh, u know wad i mean. But, sometimes there are heartless people who just pointing out my weaknesses by saying.."awww..you look chubbier".."eeeh..kin gmok You oww"...I know that! Stop reminding me of it! I have some weight issues now...everyone will get heavier at some point in their life, now its my time..who knew a fews years later it'll be yours..oneday i'll get slimmer than you! *urrgghh sorry, emotional kejap*  My point is, think before u wanna say anything to people. 

I dunno how u guys will judge this post, but clearly here my intention is to show that self-esteem is important for us to make through our day feeling good about ourselves. It'll help our emotion by giving positive energies. So if someone is good, beautiful, talented, don't hesitate, just tell them that they are because u'll make their day. Just a simple compliment will make people happy, so why not? *tapi jangan la bermuka2..* Be honest, it will not hurt u ^^ and i'm not saying this just to get tons of compliments, NO! Guess that's all for now.

Image courtesy of Google