Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
The road to success is always under construction.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
You laugh because I'm different...........I laugh cause I just farted!
He who laughs last didn't get it.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
^^
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